I have been trying to keep up with my reviews all year and think I’ve been doing a pretty good job. Every single book I’ve read this year has gotten a review. And I’ve put up a blog post talking about what the stars mean in my reviews. But I haven’t explained the heat levels! So if you’re curious to know about those, here they are.

Heat Levels

5: surface of the sun hot, flooded my place, change of undies required after every sex scene, gave me interesting dreams because of the sex in the book, highlights to key scenes, definitely will have to relieve some sexual desire immediately, 100% ready to get some, Notgeil 1
 
4: I am sweating, hot summer day heat level, change of undies needed at least twice, highlights for a couple of scenes, might cause some interesting dreams, have to relieve some sexual desire soon, 70 – 90% ready to get some, Notgeil 2
 
3: Definitely getting a bit wet down there, sitting really close to a campfire hot, may have to relieve some sexual desire soon, interesting dream probability low, 50 – 70% ready to get some, Notgeil 3
 
2: Heart has sped up, pupils have dilated, standing near an oven hot, interesting dream probability almost nonexistent, 30 – 50% ready to get some, Notgeil 4
 
1: My sexy time senses are tingling, maybe get a shiver down your spine, candle giving off heat level hot, enough to keep the plot interesting but quite tame, 10 – 30% ready to get some, Notgeil 5
Now if you have no idea what Notgeil means, let me explain because I didn’t either until my best friend and work wifey told me. Notgeil is a German word that would roughly translate to extremely horny or emergency horny. 

Notgeil Levels

1: flash flood warning, need some release right tf NOW before you die, could come almost immediately, will use own devices for release if need be

2: flood warning, need some release very soon, could come pretty damn quick, will use own devices for release if need be

3: rain but no flood, need some release sometime today, could come quicker than normal, may use own devices for release if need be

4: light drizzle, may or may not need release today, the oven has been starting to preheat but needs some action before being ready, can wait to get some

5: that was hot at the time, no real need for release, can wait for some however long, almost pretty much a normal day here, will need all the things going to get oven hot

I hope all this was helpful or at least interesting. In other news, the couple Roban and Catalina that you can find in the F*ck the Patriarchy anthology that I am a part of is going to have their own novel! That’s right. My next novel will be featuring them and how they got to where they are in the snippet shown in the anthology. If you’d like to be one of the first to hear juicy news, come join my reader group. Until next time my dudes.

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